Today I'm gonna...

[jay-ell]

Taking a class or a few at the community college is cheap and very effective at demonstrating college level proficiency and will even help save money later in college if one takes a class everyone has to take in college, like stats or bio 101. But whatever works for him.

This. In our area, there is actually a program that allows you to do a 2-year program at the community college and get a certificate that lets you transfer to any state-funded university for full credit. It's pretty awesome; tell him to check his local school(s) to see if they have anything similar.

[Doc]

Dear new boss: I know our clients are screwing us around and there isn't much work at current but when you send me an e-mail saying I don't have a shift this weekend putting four exclamation marks at the end of your 'sorry' does not communicate to me how sincere you are, it communicates to me that I should hate you.

[Asherdan]

Did you:

-- Prepare food fresh? Well, the bugs were fresh at least
-- Serve Customers Fast? Easiest way to get rid of them
-- Keep Place Clean? Clean enough for an 18 year old night manager to have his GF in for 3AM sex on the stainless prep table

Those were actually party of the manual. Yes, really really. In a binder and everything.

And ever now and then I'll drop by the Del Taco and get a Macho Burrito and laugh my ass off.

In our area, there is actually a program that allows you to do a 2-year program at the community college and get a certificate that lets you transfer to any state-funded university for full credit.

Yep, good plan. CA does this with programs for both UC and CalState systems.

Highly Recommended

[fanta]

I really wish someone would go postal at work and kill as many managers as possible.  This is not hyperbole, I actually wish for this to happen.  Those of you who know me might think it's because I'm crazy, but I'm not actually that crazy.  I used to value human life without exception, and I am against the death penalty, but I would certainly feel satisfied and feel no sense of loss or surprise or shock or anything if someone came into work and started just shooting managers.  In fact, I would just keep working while the bullets were flying.  So long as the shooter didn't seem to be going for workers, and just managers, I wouldn't worry about it.  I'm clock out at the end of the day, and come back the next day as if nothing had happened, except for how giddy I'd feel.

The company I work for is like BP.  They twist and contort reality and language.  It's really kind of annoying.  So annoying that you want them all to die.  Oh well.  I'll be quitting eventually.  within a year.

[theinevitable]

so, upon moving into this new place, we realize that one bedroom is only slightly larger than a bed.

oops.

I know I am supposed to pee into toilets and not replace them, but we are going TOOL TIME on this bitch and turning the dining room into a bedroom by adding bifold doors.

the tiny bedroom will become... something. An "office?" guitar/amp room?

other than this construction, I am so pumped about this apartment. I have today off to finish moving in, and monday and tuesday off to set everything up, buy a couch, etc.

[greenkoolayd]

hate her guts?  say it with dirty rotten flowers.

[fanta]

so, upon moving into this new place, we realize that one bedroom is only slightly larger than a bed.

oops.

Maybe you could find one of these here.  Damn.  None listed right now.

kapuseru hoteru

[Arachno-capitalist]

Ive seen those capsule hotel things before, but I didn't know until now that they are frequented by drunk people who dont want to deal with their wives. America should get on board with this chamber scheme. Maybe even a model with a time-lock.... So that guys will have a place to put their wives when they come home.

[fanta]

I thought you were slamming on The Killers so I looked up their wikipedia bios and I was like 'there's no drunken eschewing of spouses on here how does Anacro know this stuff about an over-hyped pop-culture icon' and then a little light bulb went off and I looked at the wiki article for the capsules themselves

"
Others (especially on weekdays) are often too inebriated to safely travel to their homes, or too embarrassed to face their spouses.[3] With continued recession in Japan, as of early 2010 more and more guests -- roughly 30% at the Capsule Hotel Shinjuku 510 in Tokyo -- were either unemployed or underemployed and were renting capsules by the month.[4]
"

well cute.

In the future at the rate things are going we will probably all live in capsules.

[jay-ell]

Those things are basically my worst nightmare. Enclosed spaces are not my thing. Good thing my father wasn't BF Skinner.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Those things are basically my worst nightmare. Enclosed spaces are not my thing. Good thing my father wasn't BF Skinner.

Well then I guess I won't forward Pedro the order form.

[Doc]

But you see, if you'd been raised in the scientifically optimal child rearing environment of the AirCrib you wouldn't have these psychological deficiencies.

[Asherdan]

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

BOO TO THAT!

[Carlos del Vaca]

Niiiiiiiiiiice.

A truer story:  In the book "Bringing Down the House," the MIT blackjack team ends up with a large quantity of high-value chips at the MGM Grand, and due to circumstance, will not be able to cash them readily lest they arouse suspicion.

The solution:  they work out a deal with a bunch of strippers to cash them in small batches, as it would not be uncommon for them to be tipped by high rollers in chips.  They then let the strippers keep 20% of the proceeds.

Great book, if you haven't read it.  Much better than the movie ("21").

[Asherdan]

The Mayor comes through with a better, and truer, story. I'll remember the book recommendation.