TOUAMBie Award "MVP"

[Drygioni]

How exactly do we go about this?  Do I call you names, or make generalizations about your country of residence, or both?  'Cause I've got both loaded and primed, you sodding ponce.

Also, for each post, I'm taking a shot of bourbon.  I'm enough of a gentleman not to give myself an unfair advantage.

Two can play at that game. I'vea  bottle  of scotch. SCOTCH fuck*ng WHISKY. BOUGHT FROM THE fuck*ng BEWERY BREWERY. you can keep your sugary girly 'bourbon'

;sodding ponce'? You can do beter than that you slag. Most generic 'english' insult EVER

Bascially I'll let you take the first shot seeingf as I'm genetically superior. Generalise all you like, sunshine.

[theinevitable]

I am confused by the bourbon/scotch thing. I find scotch to be great, and bourbon to taste like whiskey, which I hate. But other people have reacted the same way judy is-- "scotch is hardcore." What is up with this?

Also people acting like it is weird that I like gin. What is the deal with that. How can you stomach whiskey and think that gin tastes bad?

[Drygioni]

I am confused by the bourbon/scotch thing. I find scotch to be great, and bourbon to taste like whiskey, which I hate. But other people have reacted the same way judy is-- "scotch is hardcore." What is up with this?

Also people acting like it is weird that I like gin. What is the deal with that. How can you stomach whiskey and think that gin tastes bad?

Basicaly.

Gin is good, don't wpory abotu it man.

Scotch is 'proper' whisky (note spelling). Smoky. Beautiful. Laphroaig for instance.

'Whiskey' (note spelling). Jack Daniels. A mixer. Sugary. Neckable.

No comparison.

[TedStriker]

Scotch.  That's adorable.  Have it warm with some lemon for the headache you're going to have in the morning.  I'll take my bourbon like I take my women: reddish and wet.

For someone who invented the English language, you're making a fuck*ng mess of it tonight.  Did your favorite Pulp song come on at the pub and reduce you to a puddle in your giraffe and chips?  Did someone mistake you for Jarvis before deciding that no, the only resemblence is the dodgy teefs and thick glasses?

My oak-aged friend from Kentucky (Jack Daniels is Tennessee shit whiskey) and I await your reply, precious.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Well they all come from a distillery. I dont know what kind of brewery is selling judy scotch. Also, a lot of scotch tastes like water, so I also dont see the hardcore thing about it.
Inev, have you tried New Amsterdam? Makes a mean martini.

[TedStriker]

The primary difference, as I understand it, is the constitution of the mash that goes into the fermenter.  Bourbon has more corn than scotch, thus the sweetness.  The other differences are that some scotches use peat to fuel the distiller, giving the distinctive smokey flavor, and the type of barrels used for aging.  For what it's worth, I'm drinking Old Rip Van Winkle, a 10-yr old bourbon with some nice buttery and smokey flavor and a 107 proof.

[Drygioni]

Scotch.  That's adorable.  Have it warm with some lemon for the headache you're going to have in the morning.  I'll take my bourbon like I take my women: reddish and wet.

For someone who invented the English language, you're making a fuck*ng mess of it tonight.  Did your favorite Pulp song come on at the pub and reduce you to a puddle in your giraffe and chips?  Did someone mistake you for Jarvis before deciding that no, the only resemblence is the dodgy teefs and thick glasses?

My oak-aged friend from Kentucky (Jack Daniels is Tennessee shit whiskey) and I await your reply, precious.

Haha!

Christ I like you

I'm going to take the time to spell this right.

1) I'm going to get up tomorrow headache free and climb a mountain with a kayak on my back before kayaking back down. No doubt you'll wake up vaguely confused and upset before bemoaning the 'whiskEy and coke' you had the night before. Mixing a whisky with a soft drink? Bloody hell man. Only Americans.

2) Apologies but I've had a fuck of a lot to drink. Insult Pulp again and I'll nut you, the only resemblance I have to 'Jarvis' is the sparkling wit and hairy, often-shown arse. Your country wishes it could produce such a brilliant man, other than David Byrne who (like me) is called Dave and is 90% Scottish anyway.

3) Take your sugary bollocks and stick it up your, well, bollocks. You have done nothing to convince me I am inferior here.

[TedStriker]

I assure you that my whiskey unmolested by any sugared water.  We may be fighting, but that's just uncivilized.

I shudder to think of what qualifies as a mountain in your neck of the woods, but given that my hometown is flatter than Lily Allen, I have little room for boasting.   Do enjoy your trip to the waterpark, though.  Don't forget your floaties.  Mum will be waiting at the concession stand to buy you a popsicle if you're brave and do the big slide.

Beyond that, I'll see your Cocker and raise you...well, shit.  Jarvis is rather the bee's knees, so I can't really bring myself to knock him.  I'd just be another cunt running the world.

Your superiority to me here in this context is hardly to be question, darlin'.  I've been raised too well to take pleasure in tearing down those whose company I enjoy.  However, that's what acid is for.

On that note, I'm off to boff the wife.  Cheers!

[Drygioni]

I assure you that my whiskey unmolested by any sugared water.  We may be fighting, but that's just uncivilized.

I shudder to think of what qualifies as a mountain in your neck of the woods, but given that my hometown is flatter than Lily Allen, I have little room for boasting.   Do enjoy your trip to the waterpark, though.  Don't forget your floaties.  Mum will be waiting at the concession stand to buy you a popsicle if you're brave and do the big slide.

Beyond that, I'll see your Cocker and raise you...well, shit.  Jarvis is rather the bee's knees, so I can't really bring myself to knock him.  I'd just be another cunt running the world.

Your superiority to me here in this context is hardly to be question, darlin'.  I've been raised too well to take pleasure in tearing down those whose company I enjoy.  However, that's what acid is for.

On that note, I'm off to boff the wife.  Cheers!

In that case, apologies.

Whilst I concede that England is not famous for it's above-sea-level height (highest peak: 3,209 ft, Scafell Pike) and Lily Allen is pretty flat (and shit) I assure you this trek tomorrow is no picnic. Rest assured if my 'mom' (christing hell what an aberration of a word) is at the bottom I'll applaud her for buying a 'popsicle', whatever the fuck that is. And concessions too slightly throws me in it's utter uselessness as a word.

See we cherish our mothers here rather than use them as cheap insults. For shame, mate.

Really though, you're a gentleman. I'd treat you to a pint of Pale Rider if I wasn't worried you'd screw your face up and ask if they had any soft drinks, such as Corrs or Budweiser.

Enjoy boffing your wife. I hope it leaves you with the same happiness I felt boffing the wonderful girl I was with last night and who I will not see for a year at least. I only got 5 days with her, that's hardly fair.

Hence my aggression.

Have a good one.

[TedStriker]

I'd buy you a pint in a heartbeat.  We've got a couple of spunky microbrews around here, and one particularly good Imperial Stout among them.

So for those of you keeping score at home: Corrs = hot Irish women with fiddles. Coors = shit American beer made by aspiring politicians.

Good luck with the long distance. If it's any consolation, the Wife and I were separated by 1200 miles for most of our courtship. It doesn't suck any less, but it does get better, if that makes sense.

[theinevitable]

yes, my parents dated for several years from opposite sides of the country. and look how that turned out, now they have a son who posts on internet boards about cartoon cats.

[Drygioni]

I'd buy you a pint in a heartbeat.  We've got a couple of spunky microbrews around here, and one particularly good Imperial Stout among them.

So for those of you keeping score at home: Corrs = hot Irish women with fiddles. Coors = shit American beer made by aspiring politicians.

Good luck with the long distance. If it's any consolation, the Wife and I were separated by 1200 miles for most of our courtship. It doesn't suck any less, but it does get better, if that makes sense.

I brew my own, definitely the way to go. I'm intrigued by the Imperial Stout and only wish I could cast my discerning liver towards it.

Ouch about the Corrs. Typo or not (I'm not sure) that is pretty bad. Sorry.

I do understand. My last girl I was with we went long distance (due to moving to different unis) and we were only about 100 miles apart and it wouldn't work. Fuck I was 18 (only 19 now), I guess in that situation at that age it's hard. In Britain as well everything's so close together, I don't feel I really appreciate how things can work over distances like that. 1200 is much bigger than any distance I could achieve on these isles. I'm glad things have worked out, I only hope I can be so mature to let something like that work in future. Thank you for the well-wishing but I feel me and Sophie will have to forget about each other, so it goes.

[bluemoon72]

Damn, that fight was shaping up to be a rarity in its beauty and now it's all "congrats mate on your balls-deepedness, I salute you."  Sigh.  Either way, Ted, you are truly the man.

[Drygioni]

Damn, that fight was shaping up to be a rarity in its beauty and now it's all "congrats mate on your balls-deepedness, I salute you."  Sigh.  Either way, Ted, you are truly the man.

I'm a lover and all can't bring mhyself to fight a fellow chap of quality. Way too drunk to put up much of a fight so.

Inev - I genuinely love you, I would hug you

AC- Distillery yes, you have exposed me again foer the drunken cock that I am

[JorgeFabregas]

That might be the worst movie ever made.

I don't remember it being that bad. Inexplicably, it got a second first-run theater release a few months after it flopped the first time.