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@achewood Young man on the #6 bus, The Doors were not a British band.
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The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board  |  Trivial Pursuits  |  People & Places (Moderators: Nabubrush, AlohaDawg)  |  Topic: Fuck summer 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
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Author Topic: Fuck summer  (Read 5125 times)
Nabubrush
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« Reply #150 on: September 01, 2010, 11:29:02 PM »
I'm a bit surprised I didn't just go to like -13,000 cans.

To be fair, it was a crazy slapstick kind of headbutt. I was trying to help him look for his jacket which he'd left under a chair, and we both leaned over at the same time and I clocked him in the eyebrow. He had a look on his face like "this is all I fuck*ng need". I thought it was pretty funny.

And by look for I mean look for in my case and grope for in his.
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« Reply #151 on: September 01, 2010, 11:34:10 PM »
What does a blind guy do with porn?  Listen to the moans?
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« Reply #152 on: September 02, 2010, 02:07:37 AM »
He goes to porn stores to hear the cashier girl talk to him about porn.
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« Reply #153 on: September 02, 2010, 01:18:13 PM »
Quote from: jaydub on September 01, 2010, 11:34:10 PM
What does a blind guy do with porn?  Listen to the moans?

My thoughts exactly.  "Super Screamers #7."
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« Reply #154 on: September 02, 2010, 07:30:46 PM »
No he was into DP/anal, or this is what the store owner's mail-order Russian bride told me when she was training me anyway.  I'm pretty sure renting them was a part of the deal for him though.  He was apologetic and told me he was a "bad man" for renting them, and 17 year old me was like " no... you're... um... not, I guess... That will be $12.89."  At the time, I didn't know what DP was by the way - I mean I figured it out by the pictures on the cases, but even then I didn't know it was... at the same time.  This was back before the internet was a serious thing.  An innocent time before Napster and such.

This is a thing that happened, in real life. It still baffles me.

Oh, man.  Napster.  What a throw-back.
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« Reply #155 on: September 03, 2010, 02:46:21 AM »
How many blind men does it take to find DP pornography on the internet?
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« Reply #156 on: September 03, 2010, 03:07:02 AM »
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« Reply #157 on: September 03, 2010, 03:09:35 AM »
Or this:
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« Reply #158 on: September 03, 2010, 03:28:19 AM »
Quote from: JorgeFabregas on September 03, 2010, 02:46:21 AM
How any blind men does it take to find DP pornography on the internet?

I'm not sure, but if you want to help out the cause, you could always record an audio description of any old porno site you like for the visually impaired at http://pornfortheblind.org/ (nsfw). 

I just listened to the description of Big Sausage Pizza, and it's sort of weird how bored the guy who's describing the site sounds, and also how it turns into a PSA for a charity at the end.  Also, further listening of other audio clips makes clear that some descriptions are just jokes like the www.elvisrape.com one, while others are oddly serious descriptions of porn sites and clips.

Yes, you can watch porn and do volunteer work at the same time.
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« Reply #159 on: September 03, 2010, 03:35:38 AM »
Nice. So does that mean my subscription to Asshole Fever may be tax deductible?
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« Reply #160 on: September 03, 2010, 04:26:45 AM »
Sometimes when you type in a captcha it says you're helping the blind like that and I like to try to imagine what filthy sentence they're from. Like "stifling unguent" or something.
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« Reply #161 on: September 08, 2010, 08:21:30 PM »
Dear Summer,

Come back you goddam bitch! Don't make me come after you or I'm gonna slug you up so good I'll be able to sell you for a Picasso! Remember how I stood up for you? Remember how ever one was talking you down and I took you in and let you wash your hair and cleaned the scabs off your knees and gave you a meal or three? You ungrateful whore, you gonna throw all we had in my face and run off on me!?!

You bitch, you come back here I outta cut your damn throat and feed you to the turtles crotch first!

I love you baby, I need you, don't hurt me or yourself like this...come on back home.

[the pool is finished and it is 65d and misting]
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« Reply #162 on: September 08, 2010, 09:39:16 PM »
Quote from: Asherdan on September 08, 2010, 08:21:30 PM
Dear Summer,

Come back you goddam bitch! Don't make me come after you or I'm gonna slug you up so good I'll be able to sell you for a Picasso! Remember how I stood up for you? Remember how ever one was talking you down and I took you in and let you wash your hair and cleaned the scabs off your knees and gave you a meal or three? You ungrateful whore, you gonna throw all we had in my face and run off on me!?!

You bitch, you come back here I outta cut your damn throat and feed you to the turtles crotch first!

I love you baby, I need you, don't hurt me or yourself like this...come on back home.

[the pool is finished and it is 65d and misting]

polar bear swim
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« Reply #163 on: September 08, 2010, 10:45:38 PM »
She's living here in Houston still.  But I can see a faraway look in her eyes.
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« Reply #164 on: September 09, 2010, 10:56:52 AM »
Ah baby, I knew you'd come back to me. Forget those fools, you know I'll treat you right.
 
This post is from a man who just got done organising his new years celebrations on a beautiful beach in the middle of summer. Because that's how we roll.
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The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board  |  Trivial Pursuits  |  People & Places (Moderators: Nabubrush, AlohaDawg)  |  Topic: Fuck summer « previous next »
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