What's your area's handball scene like?

[robot_god]

I played handball hard as hell today.  All of the clothes touching my body got completely soaked through with sweat.  At my current weight, it's the only activity I can go at 100+% and not have any joint pain.  I have a soccer kickaround, medium effort, ankle is destroyed, one day recovery.  I go running, endurance challenge, ankle is destroyed, two days+ recovery.  Handball, I can play until I'm nearly passing out and I'll be ready to do it again the next day.  It's like the miracle sport.

It definitely is a popular game amongst young teen g's because at that age it's the sport you can play without breaking a sweat.  All the kids try to learn a tricky, wrist flick opponent-tricking style so they can hit killers without any effort.  Trying to show off for all the 15 year old, pigeonhead hoes, is all it is.  None of the old vets buy it though.  Once you're willing to sweat, you can return almost any ball.  Also all the kids are afraid to play singles, because it's too much running for them.

If I can lose these ten, fifteen pounds, I can probably step up to the next level of competition.  Play heads that are scary good, killing the ball all time, return aces like crazy, serves that are nasty as fuck.  I like to serve it straight to my opponent for the most part but then they always start pulling out their trick serves and then they force me to show the true face, right corner serves high as shit right in front of the long line, left siders straight down the line.  Left arm better be in shape if you're gonna give me your lame-ass serves.

[jaydub]

#*#*# god is bringing the heat.  Homeboy smackdowns all up ins.  Can you play effectively with one hand holding up your #####?  Doubles of course.

[Asherdan]

Welcome to the School of Automated_Deity.

This is a shirt you need for playing in.

[robot_god]

What I definitely should have that shirt for is foosball.  Without exaggeration I could probably go professional at that game.  Also, FYI, pro foosball does indeed exist.

[Asherdan]

Keep it up man, you gonna be in the niche-sport hall of relative-fame. Jaydub can join you there.

[jaydub]

Keep it up man, you gonna be in the niche-sport hall of relative-fame. Jaydub can join you there.

Pff, I am so unfamous in my niche sport that the biggest trophy on my shelf is an anonymous picture on a website of me winning a faceoff.

[Drygioni]

Robogod, I would fuck*ng destroy you at table football. I have won money on the damn thing.

I call you out for a match

[robot_god]

Hah hah hah, oh would you now, I was winning money on challenge matches back when you were a spermatozoa.

I've beaten entire bars one handed without giving up a single goal.  My students, whose entire skill sets comes from just trying to beat me, have shutout entire festivals.  I'm talking like fifteen games, only one goal conceded, 150-1 aggregate.  I woulda made it 150-0.

I hold the ball and my opponents shudder in fear and anticipation.

[wombat]

I keep thinking the title of this thread is "What's your area's hairball scene like?"

[KeithHernandez]

My dad helped put himself through law school by betting on foosball.  He lived in Germany when they had it there but not in the states, so he had quite the advantage when he came back to the US.  Me?  I blow, and because of that do not like it.  I have a friend who is really good though.  He can beat me with his non-dominant hand only.  I would have to be lucky to score a goal.

[pmcd9]

I love to play foosball, but I have never been very good at it.

[robot_god]

The ground floor [of this house that I am in] is a deli.  The basement is pretty big and I hang out down there on a typical weekday night.  That is where my foosball tables have been kept.

The first foos table I had down there was just some table top thing someone found being thrown out of an apartment, we put it on a folding table and used a golf ball for the ball.  It sparked the crowd's interest and a dude and I went half on a $60 table from Sears, very italian-style (tornado-style) but a cheap piece-a crap.  The next table was a floor model of a $250+ table on clearance for like a buck and change.  Solid wood, german style.  It was never assembled right (floor model had to be transported intact, OMGGGG what a project) eventually became very loose at the joints and fell apart when two dudes fistfighting rolled into the legs.  My current table was $400 bucks, a Christmas gift to myself, I led the team through a great assembly and it is still strong after I think about four years.





Badass german-style, tornado is for tossers.

[Asherdan]

Them ranks of Germans, man. Them ranks of Germans!

[Drygioni]

Hah hah hah, oh would you now, I was winning money on challenge matches back when you were a spermatozoa.

I've beaten entire bars one handed without giving up a single goal.  My students, whose entire skill sets comes from just trying to beat me, have shutout entire festivals.  I'm talking like fifteen games, only one goal conceded, 150-1 aggregate.  I woulda made it 150-0.

I hold the ball and my opponents shudder in fear and anticipation.

Yeah, well, maybe you'd do alright.

I've won money but mostly due to other people not being as good. We have a decent Garlando at home which I've spent many hours practicing on so I can beat most chaps.

I'm alright defensively, but my real strengths are good control when sideways knocking between the strikers and the wrist flick strength of a rhino. A rhino with wrists.

[robot_god]

The best part of my game is probably defense in a 2 on 2 game.  I make reaction saves that I can't even believe I make.  Then I take angled shots from the two man stick that are absolute torture for both opponents to try to save.

I take mostly drag shots.  I either control the ball and drag it around back and forth, or to be really dramatic I'll plant it dead stopped on the pitch and just stand next to it and WAIT........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


. . . BAM!  Out of nowhere I drag it past the defender, usually dragging the ball inside towards the goal, and at light speed as soon as I clear the defender shoot it like a rocket, at an angle, towards the posts.  I do more of a fingertip roll than a wrist flick, but my secret is that it's like throwing a punch, the momentum of the shot starts in the floor and twists through the hips before it gets to the fingers, and if I'm nice and loose, no man can react quick enough to get infront of it.  Sounds like the table is gonna break when the ball clacks against the back of the goal.  Left hand, I wrist flick.  Usually once a game I'll be flashy and use my right hand on a typically left handed stick and it usually confuses most players ideas of typical defense for a pretty powerful SOG.

To be pro level, all the best players have a shot that is described as 'unbeatable' or 'unblockable' pretty much how I describe my drag shot above, but all the top players' shots are described as 'unseeable.'  All you do is hear the sound of the ball in the goal and the only way to play defense is by guesswork.  Unreal intimidation.